Yes, this is my sweet child being fed by a configuration of my hastily arranged pajamas and a Boppy. What sort of event would lead to such a laps in my maternal judgement you ask? The answer is none other than an event so paralyzing, frightening, heart attack inducing, near pants wetting, ect. as finding a lizard in my house. Upon discovery of this horrifying home invasion the other day, I sprang into such hysterics which not only included leaving a hungry baby to fend for herself, but also a mad frenzy of screaming, hair bow throwing, and broom "swashing" (FYI: the throwing of hair bows is very effective in lizard relocation). I even stooped to bribing Evie with the promise of candy if she would go catch the lizard. She didn't go for it, even when I told her it was "just a cute little baby one"... smart kid. It's not like I can just wait for Ben to get home either, because you don't know it wont decide to attack. I also can't let my man "just deal with it tomorrow" for fear it will curl up and make a bed out of my eyelids while I'm sleeping (really big concern). Nothing strikes absolute fear throughout my being quite like a reptile. A fear in which my body becomes completely independent of my brain.
I've often wondered what would happen if I ever found myself needing to protect my children from something "slithery". Never have I questioned my willingness to throw myself under a car, or into a fire for my children. I would do those things instantaneously - instinctly even. I know I would put myself between them and a mad man, a ravage dog, a bear, a shark, a wild bore - you name it, I can take it! But don't ask me what I'd do with a snake, because I just don't know. All the logic and love of my head and heart would beg me to be a protective mother, but whether or not my body would comply is yet to be seen. Pray that my children will never have to find out.
The "lizard tragedy of 2008" ended the other day when I was eventually able to convince the monster to leave via the front door. After the nearly 25 minutes of sheer panic, I took this picture of Annie, totally oblivious of the hysteria. I like to think that if ever faced with "ensuing reptile danger again", that a supernatural Hulk like power would just erupt throughout me. After the way I behaved the other day, it's doubtful.
Now, I'd like to ask... do you have a mommy power weakness?
3 comments:
Hey Megan, I'm not afraid of lizards--I'll be glad to help anytime one dares to show up uninvited to your house. My mom has the same disgust and fear as you do, so I've been getting rid of them for years for her. The "snake" thing I think goes back to Eve and the serpent......And the lizard looks a lot like a snake but has legs...There--I think we have determined exactly why you don't care for lizards--but the Bible does say in Proverbs 30:28, "a lizard can be caught with a hand, yet it is found in kings' palaces". By the way, Sam your cat would probably enjoy the chase and cats eat lizards--if human help is not around. I enjoyed the girls, it was fun :)Mama K
That made me laugh out loud!!!! You need a DOG!!! Lizards freak me out, too....big time!!! Scout now knows that a certain panic-filled scream means he is allowed to run into whatever bedroom I am in (he isn't allowed where there is carpet), no questions asked. He also knows to look in the direction I am looking. AND then...with one pounce, it is in his mouth and he runs out the door. I love him more and more everytime he resues me!!!
Scout is a hero, the world needs more heroes like him!
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