Heavy Sigh...

Warning: You may want to slap me after reading this post

So, I just need to take a little time to write about what happened last night... I traded my car, and today I am a pouty discontented mess. Almost three years ago, Ben and I bought the most precious little Volkswagen Jetta you (ok maybe just I) have ever seen. They were running a special, The Wolfsberg Edition, so we ordered one brand new - I got to pick everything! I chose white exterior, tan leather interior, sun roof, heated seats, a little spoiler - it was fresh and fun and it didn't make me feel like a "mom"! I smiled every time I got behind the wheel! Since we bought it back in August of 2007, Anabelle has joined us and we have become not only a 2 kid family, but also a double stroller family - I've known for a long time that my little Jetta's days were numbered. There is no "Baby Number 3" in our immediate future, so we didn't feel like we had to buy an SUV or a van :P, but a little more space was becoming more necessary every day. In a nutshell, that is how the K Family ended up at our local VW dealership last night.Let me set the scene for you: 6:00 PM when we arrive, 2 little girls starving for dinner, 1 husband antsy to wheel and deal, and 1 me longing for the whole process to just be over! We were greeted the moment we hit the breaks by the most pleasant Peruvian, Sperry wearing, VW salesman I've ever met, Erlin, was his name. I liked him pretty much right away - so I should have left then and there because I will always buy when I like someone and I know that he works off of commission. I was stuck. We told him what I was looking for (Passat, 2008 or newer, white or black exterior, tan leather interior, sunroof, heated seats, DVD player...) and so I started browsing through the used Passats. They had several black ones with tan, but each had some sort of issue (too old, too many miles, dings in the hood, etc.) and then I came upon a Grey 2008 Passat with black leather interior, no sunroof, and no heated seats. I was a little surprised when I heard myself say "How about this one?" - I mean wait a second, seriously, none of it fit "the list"! I mean, even Erlin (the salesman!) attempted to talk me out of it! When Ben and I discovered that it didn't have heated seats, he agreed that it was "a dealwreaker", but before I knew it we were inside the lovely new dealership (that felt Ikea if Ikea sold cars, plus had a Starbuck's coffee machine) running the numbers. By this point (7:15 PM) the girl's starving bellies were starting to bloat, so we fed them a very healthy snack machine dinner of Cheetos, Dr. Pepper, and a "Chocolate Chip Ugly", then settled in for a long round of that good old car buying tradition that is "the numbers game". You know, when they say stuff like "You're getting this for what we bought it for at auction" or "We're actually taking a hit on this one" - I am convinced that they have an employee who's job is to fabricate documents. Meanwhile, through all of the back and forth, my stomach is churning over "the compromise car"...... Don't get me wrong, it is a nice beautiful car, but I've been spoiled rotten for the last three years by a car that was pretty much customized just for me. I am someone who always knows what I like, and when it comes to cars I only want white or black!!! And no, mixing them together to make grey does not equal the best of both to me! Anyway, back to the story... 8:30 PM rolls around and Ben is still coming in and out of the little glass room to update me on the situation, the girls have made friends with 2 little boys their age, all four are having a party in a VW Routan in the middle of the showroom, and my tummy is still just a churnin'. I finally get up the nerve to tell Ben that I want to go home and sleep on it, but he misinterprets that as me just being exhausted by the kids, and so the process continues. Before I know it (9:00 PM) I have agreed to sign papers, Annie starts shouting that she wants a "ba-ba", and Erlin (SO excited to have made a sale) offers to run to a jiffy and buy her some milk. He comes back with a Yoohoo, bless his heart! Now I am the owner of a Grey Passat with black interior. I have cried off and on all day - great big pity party (do you want to hit me yet?)I took a few last pics with my cell... here we are saying goodbye to the Jetta, the adorable car that brought Annie home from the hospital - and there she is all grown up with a sippy cup o' Yoohoo!

I miss my car, and I'm having a hard time being excited about the new one. I have cried all day. I keep this blog for my girls, so I want to be real here. I am no saint and I will never pretend, I am a selfish silly mess - in the middle of a constant struggle between my idea of perfection and God's. My mom tells this story, that a missionary friend told her, about a lady in a village in Africa who has to spend an entire day walking to get water one out of every 2 days. Her entire life revolves around walking and water. In my life the only thing those 2 words have in common is how many steps it takes to get to my refrigerator - and here I am waisting a whole day pouting about the color of my car (referring to it as "the funeral mobile"). Lovely. Why does God love me again?

"Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life."

1 Timothy 6:17-19